I haven't blogged for a while, life has been busy but we are now on the school summer holidays. So Isaac was in his new school for a few weeks before the holidays, and they have been quite a roller coaster. At times it has taken up to an hour to even get him out of the car at school. We have had good days and bad. I got a report that I had asked for from school a few days before the end of term and it was the first report that I have ever had that has actually reflected the Isaac that I know! Reports from main stream school never came close to describing what we knew about Iz. They were always lacking in understanding about him.... but this report laid it out there. Was it the quality and understanding of the teacher that made the accurate assessment, or was it because the report was now coming from a little independent B.E.S.D. school that didn't camouflage the true depth of Isaac's behaviours in order to try and cover up the fact that they couldn't cope?
For me this report was a hallelujah moment.... others were seeing my child as I did. It starts:
" In the short time that Isaac has been with us at --------- School we have noticed and dealt with a number of different and difficult behaviours, the centre of all being Isaac's focus on gaining control over every situation and every adult he comes into contact with"
" If Isaac doesn't think he has gained control of a situation, his behaviour will escalate very quickly and he will become very aggressive by kicking, hitting, nipping, scratching, biting, head butting ad destroying property. Whilst there are some triggers for his aggressive behaviour, such as lack of control, at other times there are no apparent triggers for his change in behaviour and attitude and they can escape extremely quickly".
"Isaac has a lack of understanding of rules and boundaries and authority and believes that he doesn't have to follow the school rules and therefore believes he can do what he wants and that he doesn't have to listen to adults."
"When Isaac's behaviour escalates he will not take any responsibility for his actions and blames other people for his behaviour, believing that they have made him act that way and that it I not his fault".
There is much more but it concludes
" Isaac is very confident interacting with adults, stating that he doesn't need to follow adult instructions. However, Isaac is quite shy in a group situation with peers, and is very reluctant to interact with his peers, often choosing to be on his own rather than interact . When Isaac does interact with peers he can become confrontational and competitive as he tries to gain control over the situations and this can often cause conflict with his peers"
Yes.... Yes ....Yes..... this is him, this is what we are dealing with. This is him in every aspect of his life. He presents the same at school as at home.
I often think it is to our detriment that we cope so well as a family. It is testament to our stable and consistent and loving environment and our sheer determination to help him in every possible way that we have developed a child with his disabilities that can cope this well. I seek help from services and are consistently turned away and refused as they continue to be blind to his disabilities and needs.
Jeez.... we are not making this stuff up... at last I have a report from someone who is on the front line with him who seems to have an understanding
The lack of understanding and knowledge it catastrophically significant. Come on HCP's, read, learn and start making a difference.